Cranky Large Medium reading, 7 September

Go away.

Aren't you gone, yet? What's wrong with you? Good gravy, I've given you all the time in the world, it seems, and you still stand here with your mouth open and your hand out. Well, I have no food for you, and even less of anything else, so why are you still hanging around? Oh, I see, you think that, as a medium, I might just be able to offer you some great secret. Well, brace yourself. I'm not selling any. But I can tell you about yourself, if that's what you want. Oh, goody, you'll leave once I give you that. Well, then, by all means, let me get this reading started. Here you are:

You want to be a boss, mostly because you're good at bullying people and pushing them around. You should go far in your chosen field. You read a lot and like to travel, so use that. We'd appreciate as great a distance as possible. You have high ideals and demand the respect of your friends and family. Demand all you want, toots, we're all going to laugh at you.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. But what do I care? You're going to be on the road soon, anyway. That, of course, should put you in a good mood. After all, it puts you in a much better position than these people are in, since, on this date in history, they all assumed a permanent horizontal position within the earth: Claudius Silvanus, Guido Bentivoglio, William Burnet, Buddha Yodfa Chulaloke, Louis Guillaume Lemonnier, Edwin McMillan, Guru Angad Dev, Yom-Tov Lipmann Heller, Robert Estienne, John Harris, Sidney Lanier, John Greenleaf Whittier, Kyōka Izumi, Eiji Yoshikawa, Karen Blixen, James Clavell, Alfred William Rich, José Clemente Orozco, Erma Franklin, Dennis Morgan, Godfrey Quigley, Terence Young, Catherine Dale Owen, Spring Byington, Billie Lou Watt, Graham Walker, Ken Boyer, Joe Cronin, Bob Boyd, J. P. Morgan, Jr.,

Warren Zevon

and Keith Moon.

Wasted, just like our time. What a pity.
Happy birthday, anyway.