Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 8 September

Go away.

Why are you still here? Did widdle ninny get wost on your way to the potty? Did somebody forget to point you in the right direction after they wound you up? Did you forget how to walk away? What is it that keeps you here? You want something. From me. You do understand, I took a vow of poverty long ago, don't you? Hunh. Just what is it you think I have that you can take away? Ah, my words of wisdom, I see. You want me to tell you about your favorite subject... yourself. Gosh, how could I possibly resist such a prospect? After all, once I'm done, you will go away, correct? Pardon me if I just wiggle a little with excitement as I picture you leaving. Now, then, to your reading. Here you are:
You fancy yourself an artiste and like to sing (please, not now. My ears can't handle that kind of damage); have clear ideas about how to always get your own way... often involving inflicting pain. You are shrewd and discriminating, a fair student and quite the talker. People are often shocked when you suddenly say something which indicates you might actually know what you're talking about, but then they realize it's only a matter of appearance. You will probably not fall in love at first sight, and that will give the person you fall for the opportunity to escape in the nick of time.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. But who cares? Certainly not I. And, apparently, not you. After all, you can see the positive side of this -- you're still capable of belting out a ditty or two. That places you in a much better state than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, warranted a requiem: Leo IV, Thomas of Woodstock (not the muddy concert field), John Coke, Enoch Poor, Bernard Forest de Bélidor, Peter Simon Pallas, Joseph Liouville, Hermann Staudinger, Percy Spencer, Willard Libby, Hideki Yukawa, John Franklin Enders, Pope Sergius I, John Stokesley, Robert Fludd, Ann Lee, Frédéric Ozanam, Francis Quarles, Michael Brokoff, Frank Thomas, Carlo Gesualdo, Louis Thomas Hardin aka Moondog, Leni Riefenstahl, Frank Middlemass, Dorothy Dandridge, Jean Seberg, Antonin Magne, Peter Brock, Erskine "Erk" Russell, John Shakespeare, Ephraim Williams, Annie Chapman, Julius Fucik, Bud Collyer,
and Zero Mostel.

Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns, nothing else for you.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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