Friday, September 11, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 11 September

Go away.

No, really, go away. What are you doing still hanging around? Did somebody hook your coat on the rack, with you still in it? No, wait, I have no coat rack, so it can't be that. Are you simply incapable of walking downhill? I've heard that happens when you come up short in other abilities, too. Well, then, why is it that you don't go? Oh, I see, you want something from me. Imagine that! You think I have something you can use. Hunh. Oh, right. You seek my words. And you really don't care that they're not the least warm and fuzzy, I expect, because otherwise you'd have gone to some other poor eremite's eremitage. So, you want a reading? I can give you one of those, if you promise you'll promptly leave after I dredge one up for you. Ah, watch me sigh in happiness. I will hold you to that promise, soon. Here you are:
Ambitious and focused, you are uptight and irksome because you strive to make everybody else around you look like slackers. You have a gift for planning and follow-through, while your people skills leave you doing most of the work to get there, anyway. Your mind is above average, you are sincere and honest... but honestly, could you just learn to relax a little in your off-time? Stop looking down your nose, already! The others aren't inferior, they just have a different set of priorities from yours.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. You're too busy being convinced I didn't do everything possible to make this a complete experience, aren't you? Well, I don't mind being the first to tell you, life is full of little disappointments. Still, it beats what these people have, as, on this date in history, they all completed their life experiences: Go-Mizunoo, Muhammad Ali Jinnah, Jan Smuts, Nikita Sergeevich Khrushchev, Salvador Allende, Rudolf Jakob Camerarius, Louis Godin, David Ricardo, Joseph Nicollet, Robert Kilwardby, Roger Crab, Robert W. Service, Fred Ebb, Fran├žois Couperin, Francis James Child, William Alwyn, Peter Tosh, Joe Zawinul, Matsunosuke Onoe, Lorne Greene, John Sylvester White, Dane Clark, John Ritter, Pat Corley, Bella Darvi, Jessica Tandy, Kim Hunter, Mike Gazella, Ronnie Peterson, Camille Henry, Johnny Unitas, Sylvester Graham, William Cornelius Van Horne, Georges Guynemer, Billy Bishop, Janet Parker, 2974 innocent noncombatants,
and Max Fleischer.

Now, buzz off!
Happy birthday, anyway.

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