Cranky Large Medium reading, 10 September

Go away.

Why are you still around? Isn't your mommy calling you home for bedtime? Why are you still here? Are you lost? Are you sad? Are you cross? Are you gathering moss... Well, why oh, why won't you go? I see. You want me to give you something to make you go. Would a bicycle do? too bad I haven't one. You're going to have to walk away. So, why aren't you walking away? Oh, sigh, you want a reading, and you won't go without it. Well, if I must, here you go:

You are uncommunicative and don't like to be questioned. What an arrogant so-and-so! You are ambitious, resourceful in that direction, impulsive and emotional, guided by your baser instincts. You are capable of a deeper love, but you don't apply that ability outward.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. But then, I don't really care about your feelings, any more than you care about anybody. Still, you could look on the bright side -- even though the medium isn't kind to you, you're still miles ahead of these people, all of whom, on this date in history, moved to the dark side of a pine box lid: Qin Shi Huang, Louis IV, Empress Matilda, Go-Nijō, Federico da Montefeltro, Thomas Hopkins Gallaudet, Émilie du Châtelet, Dmitri Egorov, Emil Gumbel, George Paget Thomson, Felix Bloch, John Colet, William Morgan, Gerrard Winstanley, Mother Ignacia del Espiritu Santo, Father Divine, Mary Wollstonecraft, Dalton Trumbo, Luzzasco Luzzaschi, Baldassare Ferri, Leo Carrillo (Oh, Pancho! what a great beach!), Pier Angeli, Joanne Dru, Jane Wyman, Pete Browning, Wolfgang von Trips, Jack Crawford, Yasutomo Nagai, Patty Berg, Richard Grenville, Huey Long, Anita Roddick,

and Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown.

Okie dokie, stomp on home.
Happy birthday, anyway.