Thursday, August 06, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 6 August

Go away.

Are you still here? How did that happen? Did you get lost trying to turn around and go out the way you came in? It's really very simple, you know. Just put one foot to the side, then swing the other across... oh, heck, just shuffle until you have your nose pointed in the opposite direction. Go on, now, you can do it. I know you can. I've seen much less-developed animals figure this one out. And yet you stand immobile. Why? Oh, for crying out loud. You want something before you go? Sigh. Oh, sigh. Pardon the roll of the eyes. What do I have to do to see your back at a distance? A reading. Priceless! Well, then, let's get this baby up and running. Here you are:
Marry young! They're too inexperienced to know what they're giving up, that way. Select a mate who seems positive and assertive -- you need somebody who can correct you when you (frequently) need it. You are emotional and tempestuous, as well as a would-be social climber. You read, talk a lot, and hope that will fill the holes in your otherwise shallow life hopping from club to club.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. That would mean you'd have made some sense of your life. Well, pointless as it may be, your life is still more than these people have, as, on this date in history, they all went clubbing at Valhalla and Fólkvangr: Sir Surendranath Banerjea, Richard Bong, Ira Eaker, Antoine Arnauld, Georg Wilhelm Richmann, Feodor Felix Konrad Lynen, Andre Weil, Edsger Dijkstra, Pope Sixtus II, Saint Dominic, Pope Callixtus III, John Mason Neale, James White, Pope Paul VI, Ben Jonson, Edward Walsh, Preston Sturges, Cordwainer Smith, Diego Velázquez, Edward Durell Stone, Bix Beiderbecke, Lizzie Douglas aka Memphis Minnie, Gene Ammons, Klaus Nomi, Rick James, Ibrahim Ferrer, Keter Betts, Cedric Hardwicke, Matt Di Angelo, Dorothy Tutin, Tony Lazzeri, Anne Hathaway, Ellen Louise Wilson, Stefan Bastyr, Harry Reasoner,
and Gregor Piatigorsky.

There's always room for Cello, even when you've had too much cake.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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