Cranky Large Medium reading, 16 August

Go away.

When are you going to be gone? Do I have long to wait? I mean, it's not as though I have all the time in the world, do I? Or, do I? Well, anyway, time or no, I don't really have the desire to keep putting up with visitors, after all. So, when will you get gone? After I give you what you came for. Hmmph. What you came for was...? This ought to be tough for me to figure out. Hmmmm. Let's see... what does a poor medium like me have to offer? I'm guessing you want my delightful facial hair. No? Then what? Oh, right, you want a reading. And, once you get it, you will be gone? Then get out of my way, here it comes! Here you are:

You are a sympathetic snail, of sorts. Your pace would put tortoises to sleep, but you generally mean well, and, due to your deliberate pace, the few things you finish are generally accurate. You will make a bearable mate and parent; friends and associates find you less intolerable than many.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. But then, if you pace yourself, you'll find that your disappointment will wane. This is especially true if you accept the reality that your life is by all marks better than what these people have, as, on this date in history, they all slowed to a complete halt: Wenceslaus, Ashikaga Yoshikatsu, William Halsey Jr., John Diefenbaker, Jakob Bernoulli, Matthew Tindal, Marc-Antoine Parseval, John Pemberton, Jean-Martin Charcot, Robert Wilhelm Bunsen, James Hector, Irving Langmuir, Roch, Thomas Fuller, Sri Ramakrishna, Andrew Marvell, Margaret Mitchell, Lydia Field Emmet, Joe Ranft, Loyset Compère, Pee Wee King, Max Roach, Spyros Skouras, Bela Lugosi, Stewart Granger, Jeff Corey, Amanda Blake, George Herman "Babe" Ruth, Earl Averill, John Roseboro, Idi Amin,

Elvis Aron Presley

and Robert Johnson.

Baby don't you want to go? Please?
Happy birthday, anyway.