Cranky Large Medium reading, 15 July

Go away.

Please, won't you leave? I'm practically begging you. What will it take to make you go? Money? I have none. Power? I have none. Charm? I have none. Sex? Trust me. You don't want to go there. So, how can I persuade you to take to the highway? You'll go if I give you a reading? What a novel approach. I think I can arrange that. In fact, get packed -- here you are:

Inclined towards fretting and worrying, you mean well but irritate. If you could stop gnawing your fingernails, you might actually find are actually fond of fun. You have an active imagination, an offshoot of which is your perception that you are psychic. Just because you can predict elections in Chicago does not mean you can actually see the future. That's just politics.

Are you happy now? Of course not. But you ought to be. After all, you're well ahead of these people, all of whom, on this date, were taken to a place where politics can't reach them (unless they're from Chicago, in which case they will forever after vote Democrat): Rudolph I of Germany, Ulrich von Jungingen, Shimazu Takahisa, John J. Pershing, Hermann Emil Fischer, Bonaventure, John Ball, Michael Bruce, Anton Chekhov, Annibale Carracci, Girolamo Rainaldi, Charles-André van Loo, Jean Antoine Houdon, Jacques Duphly, Carl Czerny, Freddie Keppard, Walter Donaldson, Bert Convy, David Brian, Margaret Lockwood, Dana Hill, Billy Haughton, Tex Schramm, Juan Ponce de León, James Scott, 1st Duke of Monmouth, Robert Pershing Wadlow, Julia Lennon, Gianni Versace, Robert H. Brooks,

and Lawrence Tibbett.

Now. You. On the road to anywhere.
Happy birthday, anyway.