Cranky Large Medium reading, 27 May

Go away.

Will you get out? Get! Scoot! Amscray! Cheese it! Why are you still hanging around? What did I ever do to deserve this? Oh, I became a medium, is that it? So, you come here looking for trouble... and you think all you're getting is a reading. I laugh in your general direction. But in order to get you to leave, I suppose I must give you what you came for, no? Then here you are:

You are a stodgy fall-back when your friends have nobody else to hang out with. You are (in polite parlance) detail-oriented, and accustomed to bullying people into letting you have your way. Flashy in conversation, you like to impress people with your perceived wit and your (in your mind) beautiful home.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. But, hey, at least you have yourself. And, at least your self is still functioning at, at the very least, a basic level. That's far ahead of what these people have, as, on this date in history, they ceased all function other than serving the bottom of the food chain: Procopius, Ludovico Sforza, Jawaharlal Nehru, Aleksandr Grigorievich Stoletov, Robert Koch, John Howard Northrop, Ed Yost, John Calvin, Archibald Campbell, Gaspard Dughet, Robert Ripley, James Montgomery Flagg, Alex Toth, Giovanni Legrenzi, Niccolò Paganini, Leopold Nowak, Jeffrey Hunter, Werner Stocker, Paul Gleason, Mary Philbin, Gretchen Wyler, Ed Konetchy, Jesse Burkett, Maurice Richard, Craig Heyward, Jedediah Smith, Gunther Lutjens, Ernst Lindemann,

and Izumi Sakai.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
Happy birthday, anyway.