Cranky Large Medium reading, 3 April

Go away.

Why won't you go away now? Is the last burro downhill gone? The trail is easily walked, if you pay attention... and if you don't pay attention, I won't tell anybody. Heh. Oh, you're still not gone. What is it with you people? What do you want from me? Aahhh. You seek a reading. That I can give you, but I don't promise to satisfy you. Here you are:

You should marry young, preferably to someone else who doesn't know any better. You are unlikely to mature as you age, you will be stuck assuming your best days were when you still needed acne cream every day, and you will keep your behavior and contacts accordingly. You do not have much adaptability. You are slow and deliberate, and that's the best we can say about you.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Things never change, do they? At least not until you get to the point where you descend into equality with these people, all of whom, on this date, heard the last call: Shivaji, Miina Sillanpää, Jacques Ozanam, Ernst Chladni, Franz Berwald, Wilhelm Ostwald, Mary Cartwright, Pope Honorius IV, Jędrzej Kitowicz, Carter G. Woodson, Graham Greene, Bartolomé Estéban Murillo, Jean Petitot, Melchior d'Hondecoeter, Milton Caniff, Johannes Brahms, Richard D'Oyly Carte, Emma Albani, Kurt Weill, Ferde Grofé, Ray Noble, Lionel Bart, Conrad Veidt, Warren Oates, Pincus Leff aka Pinky Lee, Mary Ure, Tom Sestak, Charles Goren, Eddie Robinson, Bruno Hauptmann, Juan Trippe, Ron Brown,

and Sarah Vaughan.

Don't blame me if you don't like your life.
Happy birthday, anyway.