Cranky Large Medium reading, 29 April

Go away.

When will you be gone? The sooner the better, I say. Preferably, yesterday. And, yet, you stand here gaping. So, what is it that stops you from heading far, far away? Oh, right, you came here for something important. And that would be? Ah, the reading. Sigh. Well, if that's what it takes to make you go, then I suppose I must dredge it up. Here you are:

If it's true that the meek shall inherit the earth, you'll get a whopping great portion of it, mouse that you are. You want to follow your instincts, but those usually lose out to your impulse to hide and attract no attention. People often take advantage of you. I know that's my plan. Awww, did I hurt your feelings? You sure are sensitive and easily offended. You are destined to be a college social sciences professor or a neighborhood political activist.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Well, don't let your hurt feelings stop you from noticing that you actually have some semblance of life. At least you're still breathing, unlike these people, all of whom, on this date in history, found a permanent hide-out: William Henry Seward, Jr., Bernardino Machado, Georg Brandt, John Michell, Nikolaus Poda von Neuhaus, Jørgen Pedersen Gram, William Eccles, John Kenneth Galbraith, Albert Hofmann, Saint Catherine of Siena, Yechezkel Landau, Thomas Cooper, John Cleveland, George Farquhar, Edward Wortley Montagu, Mike Royko, Hardie Gramatky, Leroy Carr, Cisco Houston, J. B. Lenoir, Mick Ronson, William Gillette, Anthony Mann, Alfred Hitchcock, Hal Laycoe, Bob Akin, Sid Smith, Milt Bocek, Josh Hancock,

and James McCracken.

Elephants not included.
Happy birthday, anyway.