Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 28 April

Go away.

What's keeping you? Potassium sorbate? But I jest. And I must ask, why, oh, why are you still here after my explicit request for you to vacate the premises? You came here for a what? Speak up, I can't hear mumbles. You came for a reading. Ahhh, that old thing! And, if I give it to you, you will go? I believe I can learn to live with that arrangement, if you can. So. Then. Here you are:
You have no life. Rather than bother anybody (excepting your resident medium), you keep all your feelings, opinions, and worries to yourself. If you ever decide to make any plans, you are the sort who will stick to them, regardless of the quality of the notion behind them. Your first order of business ought to be to move out of your parents' house and get a life.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. But don't let that stop you from leaving. At least you can say that, rather than having nothing, you got life, mother. That sure as anything beats what these people have, all of whom, on this date in history, got halos: Conrad of Montferrat, Thomas Pitt, Cornelius Harnett, Fitzhugh Lee, Johannes Peter Müller, Louis Bachelier, Arthur Leonard Schawlow, Carl Friedrich von Weizsäcker, Johann Heinrich Abicht, Peter Chanel, Henry Vaughan, Iceberg Slim, Lewis Charles "B.W." Stevenson, Tommy Newsom, Thomas Betterton, William Henry Johnson aka Zip the Pinhead, Ed Begley, Rory Calhoun, Robert William "Dabbs" Greer, Clas Thunberg, Jim Valvano, Samuel Cunard, Frank Knox, Benito Mussolini, Clara Petacci, Roberto Farinacci, Aurora Quezon, Tom Donahue,
and Percy Heath.

This feeds one's basser instincts.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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