Cranky Large Medium reading, 4 March

Go away.

What's keeping you? Don't you have somewhere better to go (not that there's anywhere better in the world than in my company, but, come on!)? Why aren't you leaving? Ah. You came for something particular. You want a reading, then. So. Here you are, then:

Your hidden personality is gracious and winning. Too bad it's hidden so well from everybody, including yourself. Instead, you're one heckuva sourpuss critic. You are easily influenced, so you should avoid cults and political parties (or is that redundant?). You have a generally negative view of people, so your accuracy rating is fairly high. You like children, and have an oven just right for the plumpest Hansel and Gretel.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Such is the way of things, isn't it? Well, at least you're still alive and kicking, which is more than we can say for these people, all of whom, on this date in history, went to the bucket kicking carnival: Saladin, Joan of England, Claude de Forbin, John Anstis, John Collins, Abraham Baldwin, Matthew Perry, Alexander Hamilton Stephens, Christian Leopold von Buch, Knut Ångström, William Willett (curse him for our annual loss of sleep), Ira Remsen, Charles Scott Sherrington, Michel Plancherel, Walter H. Schottky, Johannes Martin Bijvoet, Izaak Kolthoff, Robert H. Dicke, Martin Wright, George Pake, Pope Lucius I, Saint Landry, Pope Pelagius I, Daniel of Moscow, Saint Casimir, Bernard Gilpin, Fausto Paolo Sozzini, Alexander Campbell, Amos Bronson Alcott, Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol, Hamlin Garland, William Carlos Williams, Hans von Aachen, Johannes Zick, Jean-Baptiste Greuze, Franz Marc, Art Babbitt, Moritz Moszkowski, Reginald Armitage aka Noel Gay, Leonard Warren, Michael Thomas McCarthy aka Mike Patto, Lloyd "Tiny" Grimes, Mary Osborne, Art Hodes, Sarah Ophelia Colley Cannon aka Minnie Pearl, Glenn Hughes, John McGeoch, Mark Sandrich, Bert Williams, Robert Consoli, Lucille La Verne, Gladys McConnell, Jewel Carmen, Claire Davenport, John Montgomery Ward, Jack Taylor, Maxey Long, George Mogridge, Jim Walsh, Hank Gathers, James Richardson, Jesse Chisholm, Louis "Lepke" Buchalter, Louis Capone, Emanuel Weiss, Bror von Blixen-Finecke, Adam Rainer, Gary Gygax,

and Richard Manuel.

I'm pretty sure you don't want to know the shape I'm in.
Happy birthday, anyway.