Cranky Large Medium reading, 27 March

Go away.

Will you begone, please? What are you waiting for? An engraved outvitation? Get gone! And here you stand. Why? What is it that keeps you here? Oh, right, you came here for a reading. I believe I can arrange that. In fact, here you are:

Originality, chutzpah, and a twisted sense of humor are your chief characteristics. You are a complete party animal, loving good times and lots of attention. You are naturally extroverted and need to be in the midst of loud crowds. Be careful you are not caught by police or the National Equirer.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. It's just the two of us, here, and I'm not up for a party. Still, at least we have one thing worth mentioning... we're still sucking air, as opposed to these people, all of whom, on this date in history, went to the ultimate wrap party: Girolamo Maggi, King James I, Simon Bradstreet, James Fannin, Michael Joseph Savage, Wilhelm Beer, Jean-Jacques Ampère, Alexander Emanuel Agassiz, Sir James Dewar, Jaroslav Heyrovský, Jim Thompson, Paul Lauterbur, Pope Clement III, Pope Gregory XI, William Hunter, Amedée Simon Dominique Thierry, Edgar Quinet, Henry Adams, Paul Zindel, Stanisław Lem, Giovanni Battista Tiepolo, Joseph-Marie Vien, Sir George Gilbert Scott, M. C. Escher, Paul László, Johann Stamitz, Joseph "Sharkey" Bonano, Clifford Jordan, Billy Wilder, Renato Salvatori, Jack Starrett, Ralph Bates, Aldo Ray, Milton Berle, Dudley Moore, Diana Hyland, May Allison, Joe Start, Bob Casey, Yuri Gagarin, Ferry Porsche, Lyn Nofziger,

and Ian Dury.

That's all I really need.
Happy birthday, anyway.