Cranky Large Medium reading, 28 March

Go away.

What are you doing still here? Did you lose your bus pass? I have plenty to spare, take one and scram. Well? Why are you just standing there? Oh, you came her for something... a reading. Naturally, you couldn't have just come for directions to the nearest greasy spoon restaurant. No, you want me to tell you about yourself, as though you were interesting, or something. Well, here you are:

Aggressive and forceful, you enjoy being surrounded by your sheeple. And, now, for the sexism: Men born on this date are pushy and often successful in business at the cost of your souls. Women become good managers of the household, as long as you don't have to do any of the actual chores. In either case, you think you're too good to get your hands dirty. Allow me to buy you a bar of Lava hand soap, and point you toward the sink.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Still, you're better off even this way than these people, who, on this date in history, checked into the Afterlife Astoria: Pertinax, Emperor Go-Toba, George Henry Thomas, David Josiah Brewer, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Marquis de Condorcet,Peter Andreas Hansen, Nathan Stubblefield, William Giauque, Charles Schepens, Pope Martin IV, Aryeh Levin, Virginia Woolf, Miguel Hernández, Dorothy Fields, Eugène Ionesco, Marc Chagall, Heinrich Glarean, Constantijn Huygens, Antonio Capuzzi, Modest Mussorgsky, Sergei Rachmaninoff, William C. Handy, Arthur "Big Boy" Crudup, Carmen Dragon, Maria von Trapp, Jack Hoxie, Richard Arlen, Dick Haymes, Patrick Troughton, Hugh O'Connor, Peter Ustinov, Chick Fullis, Jim Thorpe, Stephen Leacock, Emmett Kelly, Art James, Caspar Weinberger,

and Rusty Draper.

The biggest fool's the joker...
Happy birthday, anyway.