Cranky Large Medium reading, 8 January

Go away.

Why aren't you gone? Did I do something to indicate I wanted you to stay? I. Don't. Think. So. Now, again, why aren't you gone? Oh. Right. You want a reading. And if I give it to you, you will leave, correct? Wonderful. Here you are:

You'd rather sing and dance and doodle all day than face scientific facts; have original thoughts with no grounding in reality, and have tantrums when you don't get your own way. You discriminate like a shrew, will be the career student, and can shoot bull with the best of them. If you ever marry, you will be faithful, but you won't find love at first sight – get a new eyeglasses prescription.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Some people looking for happiness can't even get started, when they should consider themselves so much better off than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, simply stopped: Albert the Warlike, Edward Pakenham, François Mitterrand, Jane Bolin, Galileo Galilei, Eli Whitney, John Mauchly, Melvin Calvin, Alexander Prochorow, Antipope Clement III, Pope Celestine III, Joseph Franklin Rutherford, Jim Elliot, Giotto di Bondone, Rembrandt Bugatti, Kay Sage, Iwao Takamoto, Warren Spears, Arcangelo Corelli, Richard Tucker, Pierre Fournier, Steve Clark, Matthew "Stymie" Beard, Gregoire Aslan, Terry-Thomas, Pat Buttram, Ada Rehan, Yvonne De Carlo, Jack Broughton, Paul Pilgrim, Harvey Haddix, Derrick Thomas, Marco Polo, John Baskerville, Joshua Abraham Norton, Johnny Gruelle, Robert Baden-Powell, Richard Hillary, Dave Thomas,

and Sara Carter.

Carry me away but it ain't gonna carry me back.
Happy birthday, anyway.