Cranky Large Medium reading, 21 October

Go away.

Are you still hanging around? Don't you have a plastic surgery appointment to go to, or something? Why won't you leave? Oh. You want me to tell you your fortune. Great horny toads! If I give you a little peek into what I see, will you scram? Great. Here it is:

You are a pushy so-and-so who expects everybody to follow you. You boss people around in your social life, as well, and generally pressure people into the most peculiar activities for your own entertainment, and they never admit to being put out. It's probably because they're scared of you. Like a good serpent, you are charming, and always appear to your own advantage. You have many loyal hangers-on, and some even boldly call you "friend." By and large, you have little inclination to betray their trust... so far.

Are you satisfied, now, you big bully? I gave you what you came here for, after all. What, not happy? Well, you're certainly doing better than all these folks, who are pushing up daisies: King Charles VI of France, Emperor Go-Tsuchimikado, Toda Katsushige, Peyton Randolph, Horatio Nelson, Paul Scriptoris, Jacques Babinet, James Henry Greathead, Waclaw Sierpinski, Edmund Waller, Jack Kerouac, Giovanni Paolo Pannini, Henry Lawes, Bill Black, Shannon Hoon, Elliott Smith, François Truffaut, Samuel Foote, Fred Berry, Tara Correa-McMullen, Charles Reidpath, Isabelle Eberhardt, Józef Franczak,

and Maxene Andrews.

Rhumboogie your way out of here, now.
Happy birthday, anyway.