Cranky Large Medium reading, 18 October

Go away.

Are you still here? Great jumping jelly beans! Why won't you leave? Are your feet glued to the floor, or something? Oh, it's that fortune thing you're hanging around over. Well, in that case, let me tell you:

You are unbelievably stubborn and impulsive. You are capable of being an energetic and responsible leader -- why aren't you one? Probably because you allow yourself to give way to too many of your "moods." (Welcome to the club.) You demand constant attention and affection in your relationships, are extremely needy and ostentatious, making true and constant love a high-maintenance project no sane person will be willing to attempt.

There, that should satisfy you enough to unstick your Birkenstocks from my Berber. So what if you're not happy with what I told you. At least you're alive to hear it, unlike all these people, who, on this date in history, went toes up: Sancho III of Navarre, Pope Gregory XII, Pope Pius III, Margaret Tudor, Henry Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston, King Ludwig III of Bavaria Johannes Acronius Frisius, Charles Babbage, Philipp Franz von Siebold, Antonio Meucci, Thomas Alva Edison, Saint Isaac Jogues, Jacob Jordaens, Henri Michaux, John Taverner, Charles Gounod, Lucky Dube, Dwain Esper, Henry Travers, Al Lettieri, Jon-Erik Hexum, John Hollis, Tsuru Aoki, Julie London, Gwen Verdon, Willie Jones, Bill King, Alfred Binet, Elizabeth Arden, Sebastian S. Kresge, Margaret Caroline Anderson, Ramón Mercader, Elizabeth Virginia Wallace Truman, Nikolai Rukavishnikov, William J. Crowe, Vincent DeDomenico,

and Anna Russell.

"You don't have to be particularly musical...." We've got that covered.
Happy birthday, anyway.