Cranky Large Medium reading, 4 June

Go away.

Why won't you leave? Don't you have something better to do than torment a medium? What did I ever do to you? Go home! And yet you are still here. Why is that? Oh, you want a reading. Natch. Well, if that's all it takes to make you happy and make you leave, here you are:

You are a regular gee-whiz kid, always seeing the bright side, even to the end of the universe. It's disturbing. You are too clever by half, too enthusiastic about your work so as to really get the goats of your colleagues, and you think you're a wit (but you're only half right). You are the center of a crowd, calling people you just met "friends" and including them in your family, even though your family would prefer almost anything but them.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. But then, you don't seem to give a whit. Which works out well, since you can at least recognize you're better off than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, failed to reach their potential for wellness: Conrad II, Frederick Muhlenberg, Zhang Zuolin, Wilhelm II, Maurice René Fréchet, Flavio Biondo, Muretus, Giacomo Casanova, Eduard Mörike, Dik Browne, Tommy Ladnier, Murry Wilson, Ronnie Lane, John Hartford, Steve Lacy, Sonny Tufts, Nino Manfredi, Katherine MacDonald, Dorothy Gish, Harry Frazee, Carl Stotz, Clete Boyer, Bill France Jr., Reinhard Heydrich, Craig L. Thomas,

and Derek Leckenby.

No, I can't hear your heartbeat.
Happy birthday, anyway.