Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 22 September

Go away.

Why haven't you gone? Why won't you leave? Did you not understand my PLAIN ENGLISH request? I'll try it in Latin: I! Go on, now, leave. And yet you stay. Why is that? Oh, but of course, you want something from me. And, knowing I am but a poor medium, you must know there is little here to take from me. Ah, yes, you want a reading. If I give this to you, you will turn tail and exit? Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh. What a wonderful thought. Let me get this travel party started. Here you are:
You are a dreamer, have a vivid imagination, make elaborate plans, which you never carry out. You need to work on learning to focus, concentrate, persevere, and even, someday, plan ahead. Your affections are easily gained, you are gentle and attractive, very popular -- you are a Labrador Retriever. Either that or you're a plush bath mat. Whatever.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. But, if you're a Labrador Retriever, you will be happy, in short order. After all, your attention span is limited -- oh, look, a squirrel! Not going for it? Well, then, think fondly of the fact that you're able to ignore the fluffy-tailed object of chase, in favor of the notion that these people have all had their bones buried somewhere, on this date in history:
Nathan Hale, Shaka, Solomon L. Spink, Kaarlo Juho Ståhlberg, Toyoda Soemu, Vincenzo Viviani, John Bartram, Frederick Soddy, Dogen, Selim I, Guru Nanak Dev, Johannes Agricola, John Biddle, Pope Clement XIV, Ouyang Xiu, Georg Philipp Harsdorffer, Jan de Hartog, Alessandro Allori, Ludmilla Chiriaeff, Harry Warren, Isaac Stern, Dan Rowan, George C. Scott, Gordon Jump, Edward Albert, Marcel Marceau, Marion Davies, Dorothy Lamour, Aurelio López, Rodney Anoa'i (Yokozuna), Francisco Vasquez de Coronado, Martha Corey,
and Irving Berlin.

Now go away, so I can go back to sleep -- er, ahm, meditate.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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