Monday, September 21, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 21 September

Go away.

Why are you still here, now? Didn't I just tell you to go? This is not a request. I did not invite you to my mountaintop, I do not wish for you to be here, I do not give you polite requests. Shirley you can find your way to the exit path. Do I throw another Barb at you? Why are you still here? I see. You are adamant, Eve. You want me to be Sharon my gifts with you. If I give you a reading, will you Wanda off? Oh, Joy! Here you are:
You never call "quits", never admit defeat, which works when you're at work or in battle, but is stupid in conversations, especially considering your level of ability at debate. You are far-sighted, but your ophthalmologist can correct that. Resources at your fingertips, you have intellectual and executive ability (if only you were willing to apply them!).
Are you happy, now? Of course not. Now, don't you go calling me names because of what I told you. Look on the bright side, instead. At least you are still able to respond to abuse. That puts you at distinct advantage over these people, all of whom, on this dated in history, became permanently unresponsive to all stimuli: Aëtius, Edward II, George Read, Hin-mah-too-yah-lat-kekt aka Chief Joseph, Haakon VII, Gerolamo Cardano, Jean-Baptiste Élie de Beaumont, Leon Charles Thevenin, Kokichi Mikimoto, Bernardo Houssay, Robert L. Forward, John Balguy, Arthur Schopenhauer, Virgil, Sir Walter Scott, Wilhelm Wattenbach, Jacqueline Susann, Gu Long, Walter Brennan, Olga Engl, Jennifer Holt, Alice Ghostley, Florence Griffith Joyner, Samuel Arnold,
and Jaco Pastorius.

I think by now you're well past teen town. It's probably time to move out of your mama's basement.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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