Monday, September 14, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 14 September

Go away.

When will you be going? Why aren't you already gone? Do you have some sort of hatred for seekers of solitude, that you should stay? Why, why, why are you still here? You came here looking for something. I see. And I should care about this... why? Because only I can give this something to you. Meh. I'm unimpressed. What is it I'm supposed to have that nobody else gives you (besides a tongue-lashing for interrupting my peace)? Oh, of course, you want me to give you a reading. If I give you this, will you leave? O, happy day! Hot diggety doggity! Here you are:
You are a complete wuss. Learn to assert yourself, be more aggressive (just do it after you leave my mountain). You can be completely independent and self-reliant, ambitious, but your well-placed modesty has thus far prevented it. If you ever develop a backbone, you might achieve quite a bit. You may also have a hidden talent for music and literature. If so, the world will thank you to keep it hidden.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. But what do I care? You won't make a fuss. You'll go when I tell you to do so, now, won't you? But, don't be downcast as you stumble back downhill. You can keep this positive thought with you as you go -- you're still able to stumble downhill. That makes you better, stronger, faster than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, fall only to dust: Bidatsu, Constantine V, Al-Hadi, Sutoku, Aaron Burr, Arthur Wellesley, William McKinley, Bachir Gemayel, Giovanni Domenico Cassini, Bernhard von Cotta, William Seward Burroughs, Cyprian, Pope Stephen V, Pope Adrian VI, Jan Tarnowski, John Harvard, Dante Alighieri, James Fenimore Cooper, John Gardner, Nicolas Lancret, Isadora Duncan, Christian Ferras, Dámaso Pérez Prado, Irving Thalberg, Charles Crichton, Robert Wise, Wayne Morris, Warren Hull, Gertrude Berg, Grace Kelly, Janet Gaynor, Juliet Prowse, Beah Richards, Huo Yuan Jia, Mickey Hargitay, E.S. Gosney, Yetunde Price,
and Walter E. "Furry" Lewis.

Lay your burden down... far yonder.
Happy birthday, anyway.

No comments: