Sunday, September 13, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 13 September

Go away.

Why are you here? Don't you have anything better to do than to torment hermits by invading their privacy? Come on, now, go on. Skedaddle. What are you waiting for? You won't get an engraved invitation. In fact, I have nothing, here, so whatever it is you came for, you're likely to leave disappointed. Still, leave you shall. After what? After you get a reading, you promise to go away happily? I think I can wrap my head around that concept. Let me hasten your departure. Here you are:
You are strong like bull, but judicious application of soap and water may help that. You love outdoor sports -- a good thing, considering our noses. You apply your strength equally to both work and play. You are not entirely arrogant, and occasionally people enjoy your company. You should seize upon such a moment to marry young.
Are you happy now? Of course not. But what do I care? You promised you would go, and soon afterwards, my eyes will cease to burn. And you can find a positive in all this, too. After all, you have the ability to notice your own aroma. That puts you ahead of these people, all of whom, on this date, were resigned to rank aromatic corruption: Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus, Philip II, Ambrose Burnside, Maresuke Nogi, Andrew L. Harris, George Wallace, Ann Richards, August Krogh, Luis E. Miramontes, Ketevan of Kakheti, Albert Tessier, Whakahuihui Vercoe, Michel de Montaigne, Benjamin Heath, Italo Svevo, Andrea Mantegna, Eugene Lanceray, Jean B. Fletcher, Tupac Shakur, Mervyn LeRoy, Joe Pasternak, Betty Field, Dorothy McGuire, Armand Mondou, Harry Lumley, Toni Fritsch, Elias Disney, Amon Göth, Benjamin Bloom,
and Leopold Stokowski.

Parting is such sweet... sweetness.
Happy birthday, anyway.

No comments: