Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 19 August

Go away.

Why won't you leave? What is it that makes you (a) come here and (b) not leave when I ask you to do so? Is there some bizarre map to the stars thing bringing your bus to my cave, or what? By your response, I'm betting it's "what." So, then, what is it? Oh, you came here for something... something in particular... something only I can offer to you, today... and -- wait, let me guess this one myself, now -- you want a reading, right? Oh, I am SO good. And, If I give you this reading, you will go? Spiffity-boo! Here it comes. Here you are:
You are quick-tempered, impulsive, and sometimes not entirely unreasonable. You're cocky and ambitious, narrow and obsessive. You're not too bad when it comes to the needs of those around you, but your undivided attention borders on stalking. What am I saying, "borders on"? Jeez, get a life!
Are you happy, now? Of course not. But, hey, you didn't pay me for happiness. Come to think of it, you didn't pay me at all. You think this sackcloth comes cheap? Well, even if you don't toss money my way, I'll point out that you should be happy with what I gave you. At least you're better off than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, paid their coins to Kharon: Augustus, Frederick III, Blaise Pascal, James Watt, Jean Baptiste Joseph Delambre, Giovanni Giorgi, Carl-Gustaf Rossby, George Gamow, Linus Pauling, Saint Louis of Toulouse (not Toulouse of Saint Louis), Alexander Henderson, Jean Eudes, John Proctor, Franz Xavier Wernz, Federico García Lorca, Andrea Palladio, Balthasar Neumann, David Bomberg, Sergei Diaghilev, LeRoi Moore, Alastair Sim, Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx, Jessie Matthews, Hermione Baddeley, Mark Donohue, Jim Londos, John Wesley Hardin, Otto Frank,
and Blind Willie McTell.

You could lay your money down, too, but you don't, so go, now.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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