Cranky Large Medium reading, 19 June

Go away.

What are you doing still around here? Didn't you hear the conductor call "all aboard" for the midnight train going anywhere? Why won't you go? Did somebody trick you into believing I wanted company? No? Then what is keeping you here? Oh, you came for a reading. And, if you get one, you'll take it far, far away? YeeeeeHAW! Let's get this baby going, then. Here you are:

"Sensitive", retiring, sympathetic and affectionate, you are a complete invertebrate who can't even stand up for your own convictions out of fear that you'll hurt somebody's feelings. To be happy you need love and a sharing of your life and happiness. Even though you are affectionate, you have few intimates. That's probably because people tend to lose patience with your sissy waffling. I'd find that pitiable, if I cared.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Jellyfish don't get happy. But at least you're better off than these vertebrates, all of whom, on this date in history, began their careers feeding lower invertebrates: Roman the Great, Alberico Gentili, Nathanael Greene, Maximilian I, Lady Olave Baden-Powell, Joseph Banks, Fernand Seguin, Romuald, Syed Zafarul Hasan, Sir James Matthew Barrie, William Golding, Matthäus Merian, Louis-Jean-François Lagrenée, Alessandro Marcello, Johann Ernst Eberlin, Ed Wynn, Jean Arthur, Len Bias, Terry Hoeppner, Grace Abbott, Julius Rosenberg, Ethel Rosenberg, Sam Giancana, Paul Popenoe,

and Bobby Helms.

By the same stars above you, I swear at you until you go.
Happy birthday, anyway.