Cranky Large Medium reading, 29 March

Go away.

What are you doing here? Isn't there something you should be doing, like polishing your sneakers or something? Quit dawdling and get to it! Oh. You're wearing sandals, and they don't need polish. But those toenails... well, never mind. You probably haven't seen your feet in a while. So, why were you pestering me, again? Ah, the reading. You want to know about yourself. Heh. The things I could say... anyway, I'll just give it to you as I see it:

You are affectionate and go into relationships like a good puppy, showing little or no judgment of whether or not it's wise to involve yourself. Work on developing a sense of sportsmanship and justice, someday soon. You're unbearable to be around, as you are. You remind me of my father in a foul mood.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. No matter how good you have it, you still want more. Hey, you should at least appreciate that you're still mobile, as opposed to these people, all of whom, on this date in history, popped off the hook: Emperor Go-Murakami, Henry Percy, King Gustav III, Nathan Twining, Luther Terry, Emanuel Swedenborg, Francesco Zantedeschi, Carlo Urbani, Pope Stephen IX, Louis I, Cardinal of Guise, Charles Wesley, Johann Heinrich Voß, Salvador Elizondo, Jacob de Gheyn II, Slava Raskaj, Gottfried van Swieten, Charles-Valentin Alkan, Charles Villiers Stanford, Karol Szymanowski, Jeanine Deckers, Joseph Goreed aka Joe Williams, John Lewis, Frank Daniel, Harry Ritz, Paul Henreid, Bill Travers, Calvin Lockhart, Alexander Obolensky, Ted Kluszewski, Terry Moore, Yaoya Oshichi, John Jacob Astor, Henry Robertson Bowers, Edward Adrian Wilson, Sir Robert Falcon Scott, Otto Hermann Kahn, Anna Louise Strong, J. Arthur Rank, Johnnie Cochran, Mitch Hedberg,

and Carl Orff.

Or, if you prefer...

Oh, for tuna!
Happy birthday, anyway.