Cranky Large Medium reading, 18 March

Go away.

Will you ever be gone? How do I rid myself of this plague of company? Oh. Right. You want something, I grant it, you leave happy. Sure. So this thing you came here for... is it bigger than a breadbox? Do you even know how big a breadbox is? Ah, the intangible is what you seek. A reading.Well, then, I think I can oblige you. Here you are:

Work on a little self-confidence and stop fidgeting so much. People begin to think you have unspeakable things where they don't belong, anatomically. Especially because, even though you keep saying you love your home life, you still find infinite fault in the small things in it. You are never enthusiastic, and your pleasures are shallow and few.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. It's always the little things. Hey, if you don't like the message, don't blame me... you're the one with no enthusiasm. And besides, at least you have something a lot of other people of the world lack. You still have your life, as opposed to these people, all of whom, on this date in history, went to that unmovable spot: King Edward the Martyr, Tsar Ivan IV aka "Ivan the Terrible", Sir Robert Walpole, King Farouk I, Augustus De Morgan, Marcellin Berthelot, Erich Fromm, Kenneth E. Boulding, Adam Osborne, Pope Honorius III, Henry Simpson Lunn, Leigh Brackett, Bernard Malamud, Raphael A. Lafferty, Henry Janeway Hardenbergh, Robin Jacques, Jean-Baptiste Breval, Charles William "Billy" Butterfield, John Phillips, Anthony Minghella, Robin Harris, Michael Attwell, Wanda Hawley, Barbara Bates, Peggy Wood, Henri Cornet, Jack Quinlan, Charlie Lau, Matilda Joslyn Gage, William C. Durant, Bill Beutel,

and Lauritz Melchior.

Now, he was a man who sang about something I love... distance.
Happy birthday, anyway.