Friday, February 20, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 20 February

Go away.

What's keeping you here? Lead in your boots? Something worse in your shorts? Just why won't you leave? Oh, right. You came here for something in particular, and you won't go home without it. You want a reading. As if this will change your life in any substantive way. Still, it's what I see, and what you want, so, here you are:
You are emotionally unstable in the extreme; your passions are deep and you love and hate with intensity. You lose control of your emotions and act hastily when excited, and spend long hours apologizing and trying to make up for your abominable behavior. You are bossy and domineering, with an ego the size of the government's perceptions of the depth of its working citizens' pockets. A double-wide trailer isn't sufficient to house your head.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. Your double-wide sense of self won't allow it. Still, you should consider how much better off you are than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, permanently settled into singles below ground: K'inich Kan B'alam II, Conan IV, Henry Percy, Tecún Umán, Lachlan McIntosh, P.G.T. Beauregard, Chester Nimitz, Tobias Mayer, Jean Jacques d'Ortous de Mairan, Laura Bassi, Henri Moissan, Maria Goeppert-Mayer, Paul Dirac, F. Albert Cotton, Saint Wulfric, Joseph II, Kathryn Kuhlman, Frederick Douglass, Sophie Treadwell, Hunter S. Thompson, Paul Kane, John Dowland, Percy Grainger, David Monrad Johansen, Tōru Takemitsu, Zachary Breaux, Pam Bricker, Anthony Asquith, Max Schreck, Fred Immler, Clarence "Ducky" Nash, Dick York, Burt Lancaster, John Raitt, Rosemary DeCamp, Sandra Dee, Harry Jacunski, Curt Gowdy, William Wallace Lincoln, Robert Peary, Walter Winchell, Gene Siskel, Ferruccio Lamborghini,
and Ty Longley.

Consider yourself rocked.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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