Cranky Large Medium reading, 16 January

Go away.

What? Aren't you gone yet? What is this, a conspiracy of one, to make me go insane? Well, you're far too late for that, bucko. But as long as you're here, what is it you really want? Oh, right. A reading. Here you are, then, and may it make you as balanced as am I:

You have a lot of nerve, ambition, and narrowness of view. You are full of gee-whiz and should marry before you are disillusioned. But don't try to figure out why your partner married you, or you'll be disappointed. Just live in oblivious marital splendor, or rue the day you were born.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Nobody ever finds joy in the ravings of a visionary. You all come here for something, receive exactly what you asked for, and leave dissatisfied. So much for "the customer is always right." At least you have things a whole lot better than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, left everything, absolutely: Polyeuctus, Emperor Higashiyama, John Moore, Alexander J. Dallas, Hiram Revels, George Dewey, Johannes Schöner, Francis Blomefield, Jean Nicolas Pierre Hachette, Thaddeus William Harris, Robert J. Van de Graaff (hair stylist extraordinaire), Robert Hanbury Brown, George Spalatin, Christiern Pedersen, Barthold Heinrich Brockes, Edward Gibbon, Anton Schindler, Robert Fitzgerald, Arnold Böcklin, Frank Hurley, Amilcare Ponchielli, Léo Delibes, Jules Barbier, Arturo Toscanini, Ike Quebec, Vladimir Dukelsky aka Vernon Duke, Ross Bagdasarian, Sr., Ted Cassidy, Bernard Lee, Ballard Berkeley, Ron Carey, Carole Lombard, Bobo Olson, Marshall Field, Kate "Ma" Barker, Albert Fish, Ennis Cosby, Michael Bilandic,

and Will "Dub" Jones.

Along came the guy in the black robe with the scythe.
Happy birthday, anyway.