Cranky Large Medium reading, 29 December

Go away.

Why haven't you left yet? Don't you have hair to wash or something? What are you doing still standing around, then? Oh, right. You want your reading. Pardon me while I fly my aeroplane! Well, here you are, then:

You have more guts than sense; tend toward anally retentive and bossy. You wish you had talent, so instead you spend long waking hours obsessing over literature, music and art, so you can occasionally amuse others with your tenuous understanding of it. As a lover, you make a better stalker.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Nobody ever is. And, yet, you have so much! After all, you're still walking the face of the earth, while these other people have all, on this date in history, grabbed harps and sprouted wings: Empress Gemmei, Thomas Becket, Harold Macmillan, Thomas Sydenham, Brook Taylor, Joseph Saurin, Leopold Kronecker, Julius Axelrod, Johan Herman Wessel, Christina Rossetti, Carl Spitteler, Rainer Maria Rilke, Donald Robert Perry Marquis, Jacques-Louis David, William James Linton, Jean-Claude Forest, Paul Whiteman, Earl Hindman, Dinsdale Landen, Lita Grey, Liddy Holloway, Mike Beuttler, Ken Burkhart, Grigori Rasputin, Marie Menken,

and Tim Hardin.

If you were a lady, I'd need no carpenter.
Happy birthday, anyway.