Cranky Large Medium reading, 24 December

Go away.

Why are you hanging around? This isn't your bathroom door, after all. You should go somewhere else, shouldn't you? Oh, you're here for a reason. Yeah, sure, I've heard that before. Oh. Right. Not "reason," but "reading". You want a reading. Well, here it is:

You have a lot of talent and intuition, but so far, you've been too lazy to develop it. You're not likely to change that in the near future, either. The only energy you spend is on romance, at which you excel in stalking. Otherwise, your life is pretty much a haze of overblown passion and want of restraint.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Especially since you were hoping for some nice big gift with a pretty ribbon and fancy bow. Well, toots, sorry to break it to you, but you're not getting that from me, not for birthday or Christmas Eve stuff. At least you have more than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, received the gift of the hereafter: Leo V, Empress Go-Sakuramachi, William John Macquorn Rankine, Sharbel Makhluf, William M. Branham, Norman Vincent Peale, William Makepeace Thackeray, Gardner Fox, John Boswell, Charles Lock Eastlake, Pierre Culliford aka Peyo, John Dunstaple, Alban Berg, Bernard Herrmann, Bobby LaKind, Melville Ruick, Peter Lawford, Toshirō Mifune, Michael Vale, Norma Talmadge, Bill Bowerman, Johnny Oates, Vasco da Gama, Johns Hopkins, John Muir, Karl Dönitz, Siggie Nordstrom, Robert Todd Lincoln Beckwith, Laci Peterson,

and Nick Massi.

Are you a big girl, or just a bit too girly?
Happy birthday, anyway.

And have as merry a Christmas as you can, within legal limits.