Cranky Large Medium reading, 18 December

Go away.

Why are you still here? Isn't there some puppy you should be torturing? Why pick on me? Oh, right, you neeeeeed a reading. Well, here you are:

You are aggressive, pushy, overbearing, bellicose, intrusive, offensive, encroaching, quarrelsome, and all the other words on that same page in the thesaurus. You care nothing for the feelings of others. You keep your own emotions under control all the time, so nobody can tell you really ain't wrapped too tight.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. You're never happy. But at least you have your life, which is more than you can say for these people, all of whom, on this date, wrapped up their lives: King Magnus I of Sweden, Jean-Étienne Montucla, Jean-Baptiste Lamarck, Bernard Bolzano, Michel Chasles, Andrija Mohorovičić, Bill Strauss, Joseph Barbera, Ruth Bernhard, Antonio Stradivari, Louis Moreau Gottschalk, Brian Brockless, Mark Goodson, Sam Wanamaker, Chris Farley, Diana Lynn, Anne Revere, Bobby Jones, Harry Hooper, Stan Fox, Alan Voorhees, Jack Linkletter,

and Kirsty Anna MacColl.

Fairy tales? New York? And Santa wears army boots.
Happy birthday, anyway.