Cranky Large Medium reading, 14 December

Go away.

What are you still standing there for? Waiting for congratulations on your having finally stood upright like the rest of your species? What a switch! Oh, no, you want something else, too. Right, the reading. Well, if that's all you want, here you are:

Incapable of honest emotion, you stick to your version of logic in arguments and opinions. You are pushy, aggressive, sarcastic, critical and sometimes even domineering (put away the leather and canvas outfit, I'm not interested in that stuff). You are vain and your attitude smug, you prefer the company of the studious and intellectual so you might claim the same label (good luck with that!).

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Happiness is not in your elitist nature. But look on the bright side -- at least you're better off than these folks, all of whom, on this date in history, evolved beyond the corporeal: Vlad Ţepeş, James V of Scotland, George Washington, Orval Faubus, Louis Agassiz, Andrei D. Sakharov, Saint John of the Cross, Thomas Rymer, Stanley G. Weinbaum, Rodney William Whitaker aka Trevanian, Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, Kurt Winter, Ahmet Ertegün, William Bendix, Arthur Treacher, Jacques O'Mahoney aka Jock Mahoney, Bernard Kotzin aka Stubby Kaye, Norman Fell, Mike Evans, Myrna Loy, Jeanne Crain, George Gipp, Roger Maris, Jeff Alm, Prince Albert (not in a can), Edward Higgins, Walter Lippman, Aloyisus Leon Higginbotham, Jr.,

and Dinah Washington.

We don't hurt any more, either.
Happy birthday, anyway.