Friday, October 31, 2008

Cranky Large Medium reading, 31 October

Go away.

Why in All that is Hallowed's Eve are you still here? Don't you have some children to scare, or something? Hmmph. Well, if you stay, I'm going to have to tell you something. It's about you. You're scaring me just by being here, mostly because:
You are kind of squishy gooey and sentimental, wrapped up in feelings and constantly feeling others' pain (thank you, mister Arkansas President). Although you are a Squonk, both shy and retiring, but if you ever make up your mind, it might be worthwhile to follow through. You have a larger social circle than you think you deserve, and today, I might agree with you. Or, I might not. That's your treat.
Now go trick or treating somewhere else, and get on with your happy little life. What? Not happy? Quit kvetching. At least you're able to go soaping windows and t-p'ing houses. These folks all had to give up the ghost on this day in history: John VIII Palaeologus, Cosimo III de' Medici, Thomas Cochrane, Joseph Hooker, Indira Gandhi, Jean Cabannes, Robert S. Mulliken, Hal Anger, Charles Taze Russell, Joseph Campbell, Ring Lardner, Jr., Fra Bartolommeo di Pagola del Fartorino, Marie Bashkirtseff, Egon Schiele, Leonardo Leo, Francesco Maria Veracini, Max Linder, John Houseman, Federico Fellini, River Phoenix, Rosalind Cash, Mary Wimbush, Bill Durnan, George Halas, Elmer Vasko, Greg Moore, Erik Weisz aka Harry Houdini (and he still hasn't returned), Joseph Papp,
and Semmangudi Srinivasa Iyer.

Sitar and be quiet or go, now.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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