Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts

Thursday, January 23, 2020

Part Toot of the Story

Just the other day, I posted that The Bat's Basement Cat had decided to bury my gassy ass at bedtime, heaping the blanket over the offending orifice and all that surrounds it. It may not have made you laugh, but it faintly amused me that a cat who didn't even make the effort to bury his own stink felt the need to deal so with mine.

He's done that every night since then. Last night, though, he gave his ritual a twist.

While I was lying on my side, with the Kittygirl under the covers for her ritual conversation and my ceremonial massage of that one spot on my shoulder, The Boy was stretched along my spine, relaxed as he could be. Abruptly, he stood up and started pulling the blanket into a heap by my posterior. I turned my head and got a whiff of something powerful that was not mine, and I knew for a fact had not come from Kittygirl.

In fact, I was afraid The Boy might have had an accident on the bed.

But NOOOOOoooo. Aside from some cat fur, the bed was clean.

Boykitty had just ripped a big one, and blamed me.




The little brat just pulled a Dad-and-the-dog-fart on me.

I hope to God this isn't the start of a trend.




Sunday, March 23, 2014

Make Your Own Dazzling Wand for the Cat

Some pets know how to play hard.

A killer of tassels…


Maus has chewed through the expensive wand toys I've picked up for her over the years. It takes her virtually no time at all to destroy them. I'm assuming mine is not the only fuzzy bunny-head with that kind of destructive talent.

With that in mind, I thought I'd share with you my ultra-cheap, and ultimately satisfying (for both of us) solution: wrapper-fringe wands.

I started with breakfast:

Le Package du munchables.
I'm just a little CDO (for the uninitiated, that's just like OCD, only in correct alphabetical order). When I open any package, I do my best to keep the wrapping undamaged. It's a little tricky, sometimes, but with most of these items, there's a way to pull the seal apart at one end, then gradually work open the rest of the wrapper. If I fail, I grump and growl and throw the whole thing away in a fit of pique. When I succeed, I save it for future projects.

If you don't feel like handling everything delicately, you can probably use scissors to trim it open, though I, personally, would have to throw that away.

I have about 20 of these, right now, washed and being pressed in a drawer. That's about 40% of my work.

But I digress. 

Wrap-a-wrap-a-wrap, they call me the wrapper…
Anyway ––

Once the wrapper's completely opened up, I rub away any and all adhesive which may remain on it, and then wipe it down with a Clorox- or other-saturated cleaning cloth to remove any other residue, so that I have a clean start (no chocolate for the wee beastie).

Sometimes, you may receive active, participatory supervision.

With a pair of scissors (or, on a cutting board with a rotary blade), I cut strips to within about 1 1/2 inches  of the top of the sheet, at about 1/8-inch intervals (it's not all that important that they be even in width, or that they all be super-thin, but I like to use the serrated cut at the end of the wrapper to gauge how wide my strips will be).

Que serrate, serrate…
A word of advice on this particular stage of the project: don't start it when you're all wired and wound up for action. Slicing requires a somewhat steady hand and the ability to approach that zen state. A good wand needs at least three wrappers turned to fringe.

Flashback to the wardrobe of my youth…

If you are following along, you will also need a straight stick. I use long cheap wooden chopsticks.

This is not a magic wand. But don't tell the cat.

I take a tab of handy-dandy tape and attach it to one corner of the first sheet of fringe, then attach that to the end of the stick, wrapping around tightly. Then I take the next sheet of fringe, repeat, and do the same with the third sheet of fringe. When that is done, I give it a little pull downward so that there is a little bit of each layer showing beneath the next, in a faint spiral. This is so that the top layer of tape will grip each, if only a small amount. (It isn't crucial, but it will make the base of the tassel more durable).

The I wrap tape around the top of the fringe tassel two or three times, to give it stability. Then, using a piece of tape about 6 to 8 inches long, I begin to wrap in a spiral up the stick. (Give the tape a good amount of pressure as you apply it, and then rub it down into place once it's all wrapped.)

Then, I find the wee beastie and wave the toy around. It makes a spiffy rustle, and, even if the cat isn't in the mood at that moment for an assault on glitter, I can still pretend to be a fairy godmother…


It didn't take her long to turn her first one into a tattered tangle.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Pucker up! I've been in the kitchen again

In between bouts of preparation for tonight's supper of Cantonese Tomato Beef on rice (which recipe I have yet to post), I was working on becoming a limey... or something like it, anyway.

I made me some lime curd. Using teetoncey limes. I have officially done myself grievous bodily harm in the process, as pressing the juice out of a gazillion eetsy beetsy leetle ceetrusy fellers is wearing on everything between the ear and the fingertips.... I'm gonna have to ask Maus to give me a shoulder massage tonight, if she will.

Two words: As. If.

Or, maybe I should just rely on the shower massage and some acetaminophen.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Caturday returns


Maus (aka HRH Miss Mausiemaus, Princess of Incurably Cute and Cuddly) has missed these sessions before the camera... in a pig's eye. If the hand holds a camera, it can't skritch her or rub her jaw or otherwise appreciate her soft silky loveliness. But at least we have this pic. Take the time to show appropriate awe. The quality of my sleep depends on her degree of satisfaction.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Unto the nether world flees Proserpina

It never would have occurred to me a year ago, but, by definition, mammals have mammary glands, and mammary glands, like any other part of an animal, can be subject to cancer. It isn't just people who suffer and die from breast cancer. Sometimes, the smaller treasures are taken, too.

This past weekend, Proserpina, aka Peanut, my Little Legume, took ill. She was ornery and fussy and bossy and opinionated and selfish and ruled the house with a steel paw and sharp claw... and an amazingly funny manner. Until Sunday. In the wee hours, long after I gave her her flea treatment, she showed signs of being unable to keep her food down. I believed it might have been poisoning, so I worried a bit, but the nausea seemed to quit after the morning had passed. Next, Peanut showed weakness in her hindquarters, with a pronounced dragging of her left hind foot. The symptoms became worse over the next day, but with both Mom and me suffering from stomach flu, we weren't in much of a position to do anything, ourselves. Unfortunately, today I found Peanut lying under the bed in a puddle of her own urine. It was obvious she was not going to get better on her own. I persuaded Mom to take us to the vet's office, where we left Peanut to be examined.

She had breast cancer. Lots of it. You don't really think about it, but she had six nipples, which means four more mammary glands than a primate has. They were all beginning to develop lumps, and one, which had had a cyst long years before, had developed a non-cyst lump I hadn't noticed because she had never liked anybody messing with her voluminous soft underbelly.

She had other problems, too, but the veterinarian said the treatment for those was manageable. The cancer was not.

This little girl came to me a decade ago, when I first moved into the house I now occupy. She already owned it, having taken up residence under its back porch. She was never bashful, demanding that I feed her every time I came outside. In fact, she did the same to all the houses in the neighborhood, a fact I learned long after she moved indoors in our house.

Having come from below, in time for the winter to recede, I thought it natural to name her after the Queen of the Underworld, daughter of Ceres, delight of the seasons, Proserpina (not the Greek version for the cat of a mediocre Latin student). "Proserpina" quickly became "Peanut", as she usually showed more signs of nuttiness in her demeanor. Most cats, when they choose to rest, will ease themselves into a lounging or stretched lying pose, but Peanut simply capsized to the starboard or port, whichever side had less of an obstacle beneath her.

She stole clean socks from my dresser drawers, separated them from each other and buried one of each of perhaps a dozen different pairs deep beneath my bed, where only she could reach without pain. She climbed through small openings to hide behind books on my shelves, knocking over tchochkes as she went, necessitating that I own no fine glass or porcelain -- or clocks, cameras, desktop telephones, or other such small breakables.

She bullied all other animals who came within a paw's reach, but never actually applied a claw, even when it was called for. She was a blustering bowl of pudding, one who loved to see me come in the door each night, chattered and mewed as I put her supper down for her, and would bolt it down so she could race to sit on my chest and purr as I brushed her short fur backwards and rightwards and rubbed her stumpy little ears before anybody could interrupt us.

But this past week was too much for her. There was no leaping to my chest, there was no growling at her adopted sister, Maus; there was only a rapidly declining form and a struggle to mime a "meow."

And, so, my clownish little baby, maiden empress of the seasons, has gone to her groom and her throne, pomegranate seed debt repaid in full. And, I, like Ceres, do not know how to fill the void.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Can't sleep? Have your septum pierced.

Let your cat do the surgery. Don't take time to apply an analgesic or antiseptic in advance of the action. In fact, just let your cats cuddle up around your chin and chest, until one decides the other shouldn't be sharing this nice snuggle time with the old geezer who feeds them and grooms them and otherwise does a fair job of worshipping them. At that point, just make sure your face is partially between the two of them.

It won't actually cure insomnia, but it will give you a better reason for sitting up than "it's too cold to sleep." After all, it will require nearly a full box of tissues, or several trips to the sink to rinse the damp washcloth. It takes a while for the bleeding to stop (one may also be tempted, on a miserable January night, to simply put one's nose just outside the door, where the sub-zero temperature and wind chill could serve as well as an ice pack to slow the flow, but don't give in to that, unless absolutely necessary. It will attract the attention of the neighborhood raccoons and opossums). Half the night will be gone, and you won't have even noticed its passage.

On the plus side, if you're like me, you'll have warmed up the atmosphere fairly well with a spectacular array of good old monosyllabic terms the use of which your mother might not approve. A cold, wintry bedroom does shift rapidly under those conditions.

And, you have the added bonus of seeing the two cats fly off the bed to end up crouched in opposite corners of the room, staring at each other, one looking mightily miffed, the other smug -- as if to say, at least now you can't get those chin skritches you were working toward...

Of course, you know you're looking at a true cat person when the cats are allowed back onto the bed, snuggling on the pillow, within a half hour after the final drop of blood falls -- and there's no complaint about little ones snoring or whiskers tickling that damaged nose.


Saturday, April 04, 2009

MacBeast doth murder sleep

I was going to get some sleep early, tonight, but the kittehs have decided they like each other, tonight, so the girls are chasing each other back and forth, up and down the hallway, over the bed, and around the chairs, gallumphing like a herd of elephants the entire time.

I might complain, but they're too darned funny to stop watching.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Signs of improvement

TiGrr is breathing through his nose, again, and able to drink water directly from his bowl again. With his kitty flu, he was unable to do either for two and a half days. I'd been giving him water via an oral syringe, just to make sure he didn't get too dehydrated, and had left a steamy bathroom for him to use as a sauna. It seems to have worked.

Now, I only have to worry about secondary illnesses, bacteria, and such. But he's showing signs of being the scrapper I always saw in him, so maybe I'll be able to relax in a few days. But I'm still not taking any pix of him, since he doesn't have the apparent dignity he has worked so hard to develop these last few years, and I won't insult my sweet boy by showing his snot-caked face... I'll just mention it, instead. ;-)

Thursday, January 01, 2009

A little worried about a little beastie

Actually, it's not just a little worry. TiGrr has influenza. He sneezed pretty much constantly the night before last, and now is suffering from congested sinuses, so he's breathing out of his mouth. He's not getting any food, and I'm giving him water/broth through an oral syringe.

He was a relatively healthy eleven-year-old before he was hit with this, so there seems to be less concern than if he were older, or had a history of other problems, but then, flu is highly contagious and we have two other kittehs in the house, both of whom have weight issues...

Still. A few prayers from believers might help Mr. Grr. they couldn't hurt.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Friday Catblog: Do not disturb

Maus has taken possession of my pillow.

Maus sleeping

I would raise complaint about it, but...
Do Not Disturb

She doesn't look terribly open to negotiation.



For more beasties, don't forget to check out Modulator's Friday Ark # 222, and, on Sunday, swing by the CotC, this week to be hosted at Nikita's Place.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Lesson On a Caturday

I've been cleaning up images from a book dated roughly 1860-1880 (no copyright date, English publication) and converting the pages to postcards to share with friends at holidays, etc.

My own beasties have been, wisely, far away from me while I struggle with this project. Therefore, I bring you the only cat in proximity, this afternoon:

Cat

The Dog does notice her, too. And not in a traditional canine fashion, either.
Cue violins.


For more modern kittehs, etc., don't forget to visit Modulator's Friday Ark # 217, and, on Sunday evening, swint by the CotC, this week to be hosted at Artsy Catsy.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Friday Catblog: Who's leaving?

Who dat? Oh, it's the neighbor's kitteh, Oreo.
Oreo Leaving 02

He was just Leaving...
Oreo Leaving   01

Maple Leaving, that is.


He'll be heading over to Modulator, for Friday Ark #216, and on Sunday evening, he'll be at the CotC, this week to be hosted by Diamond-Emerald Eyes, et al., at House Panthers. You should check these guys out. Mrrrrowrr!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Friday Catblog: Coming back

I inadvertently took last week off from catblogging -- I was elbows-deep in a graphics project, and forgot about the lovely wee beasties until sometime around Tuesday morning.

Still, I do have fine feline company pretty much everywhere I go. At home, I have TiGrr, Peanut and Maus. Over here at Mom's, I am usually greeted by Piers Plowcat. Sometimes, he curls up on the cathouse shelf and waits for me to come to him, sometimes, as he did here, he rises and moves forward to have me acknowledge his feline nobility.
Piers Prowling

If he were a little less feral, he'd be Mom's lap pet. As it is, he's the recognized King of Momsporchistan, with all rights and privileges infurred.



For more lovely beasties, be sure to stop by Modulator's Friday Ark #215, and, on Sunday, don't miss the CotC, this weekend to be hosted at Chey's Place.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Friday Catblog: Dedicated To the One-Eyed Love

Each night before you go to sleep, my baby...
One-eye

Whisper a little purr for me my baby.

Mr. Grr is only going to tolerate the flashy thing a very short while longer.


There are more animals to visit via Modulator's Friday Ark #213, and, on Sunday evening, at the CotC, this weekend to be hosted by Life From a Cat’s Perspective.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday Catblog: Forever in Blue Jeans

Not forever. Just every time I bring them back from laundering, Maus settles in on my denims. I've tried putting them in a closet (don't have one in my house), piling books on top of the basket (and then having them dumped on the floor) and creating a tower where the basket sits high above everything else. Maus still claims Queen of the Hill.

She's a regular terror in denim.
Terror in Denim

And she's not inclined to surrender her throne to anybody.
I puts pance on HOW?
Me on pance, not putting pance on me.

I suppose I owe it all to clean living.

For more beasties, remember to swing by Modulator's Friday Ark #212, and, on Sunday, don't miss the CotC, this weekend to be hosted by the whole crew at Artsy Catsy My big Fat Orange Cat.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Friday Catblog: True love does not run smoothly

Oreo, one of the kittehs who live on the porch next door to Mom, found the dog bed Mom put out to dry in Momsporchistan, and he claimed it for himself.

Oreo:  Am I not beguiling?
Am I not the most beguiling of creatures?

Smoky, his porchmate, was not impressed.

Poor Oreo.
Rejection/dejection
Rejected. Dejected.

It will be some time before he recovers.

Stay away while I'm being miserable
Stay away from me while I am miserable.

Please, don't reject the other beguiling beasties at Modulator's Friday Ark #211, and, on Sunday, be sure to stop by the CotC, this weekend to be hosted by Kashim, Othello and Salome, too, at The Catboys' Realm.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Friday Catblog: boxed surprise

A surprise came with my seester and her husband, when they came to visit this week... not only did they bring their Labrador Retriever, Bonnie (Clyde's sister), but they packed their new kitteh into their car, and she made the trip quite nicely:
Package goods
Her name is Anoia.
model kitteh
Isn't she lovely?
Glance across shoulder
I think she knows she's a glamor-puss.

hitting the books
But she has a more advanced image to uphold, as a member of my seester's family. Anoia is an educated,
Pillow talk
sophisticated kitteh.

For more lovely beasties, don't forget to stop by Modulator's Friday Ark # 210, and, on Sunday, check out the CotC, this weekend to be hosted by Chey, at Chey's Place.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday Catblog: Feline Fiesta

The wee beasties get to have their supper on a pretty blanket covered with flowers, with their water dished out in fiesta ware, when they're at Grammaw's.

Feline Fiesta

At my house, it's terra cotta on an ugly, ink-stained and paint-bespeckled indoor/outdoor carpet. We don't take pix of that, to spare them the humiliation of being seen in so unbecoming a venue.


The best venue, however, is Modulator's Friday Ark #209, or, on Sundays, the CotC, this weekend to be hosted by Friends FurEver.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Friday Catblog: Maus has no need for Chee-Tos

Never mind the bagful of Chee-Tos you gots behind the flashy thing there, Ma.
Nom Sumpin Nummy
I gots a sheetload of Mom-Toes to nosh.
Num num!

For more lovely, hungry beasts, be sure to stop by Modulator, for Friday Ark #208, and, on Sunday, swing on over to the CotC, this weekend to be hosted by Artsy Catsy.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Friday Catblog: How long will Peanut be followed?

She wants to know.
Is U Lookin @ My Butt?
Cat can't get a lick of sunshine in my face 'thout somebody staring at my bee-yootifoo butt.

No more staring, 'k?
No more staring, 'k?

Is U follow me for always?
No, srsly, you gots to quit follerin' me an' staring.

Sleeps time.  G'way.
I's goin sleeps. You goin 'way, k? nite nite. Go. Naow. Go.


Okay, we go to Modulator, for Friday Ark #207, and on Sunday we'll swing by the CotC, this week's scheduled host blog being Counting Cats. Must not miss either, or Peanut will be truly annoyed.