Cranky Large Medium reading, 8 May

Go away.

Will you be gone? Is there no mercy in you? Turn around and go back the way you came. Why are you not going? Oh, of course, you came here after something, and you won't leave without it. And that something is...? Ah, yes, the reading. You want to know about yourself, without all the personal navel-gazing. Leave that to me. Here you are:

You are an annoyingly chirpy sort, always looking on the bright side of life, aren't you? At least you're an original one, but without any self-reliance, that isn't worth much. You could do a lot more if you would make the effort and have more self-assurance. You like "light literature" and a party atmosphere. You will always be blissfully ignorant.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. This side isn't bright enough for you. At least you have your life, though. That beats what these people have since they all, on this date in history, crossed over to the dirt side: Emperor Duanzong, King Haakon V, King Kamehameha I, Giovanni Antonio Scopoli, Antoine Lavoisier, J. H. C. Whitehead, Remington Kellogg, Edward Fox, Samuel Chandler, John Stuart Mill, Richard Jago, Gustave Flaubert, Helena Blavatsky, Edward Hamilton Waldo aka Theodore Sturgeon (90% of his work is NOT crap), Robert A. Heinlein, Shel Silverstein, Pietro Longhi, Paul Gauguin, Garth Williams, Iain Macmillan, Mauro Giuliani, Neil Bogart, Eddy Arnold, William Fox, Dolph Sweet, George Peppard, Dirk Bogarde, Ed Gilbert, Dana Plato, Nicolás Vuyovich, Alexander Balashov, Harry Gordon Selfridge, Vital Brazil, Lila Bell Wallace, Bebe Rebozo,

and LaVerne Andrews.

The only taps played here are the ones on shoes.
Happy birthday, anyway.