Sunday, September 27, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 27 September

Go away.

Why won't you leave? What is it about me that beguiles you, so that you seem incapable of turning away and heading downhill, even after I make express request that you do? Come on, now, go on. What are you waiting for, your mother's dinner call? Oh, I see, you want a reading before you go. Hmmmph. Is that all I'm good for, to you? What a relief! This means that you'll be going away as soon as I give you your reading, doesn't it? Spiff-a-rooney! Here you are:
You are easily annoyed and annoying, especially by petty things. If you could learn how to be a little cheerful, at least you won't be annoyed. You could even be kind and sympathetic. Not that anybody will really care, except you and whoever lives under the same roof with you (your parents, for example. You really should consider moving out of Momma's basement).
Are you happy, now? Of course not. But, look on the bright side: even if you're annoyed and petty, you're still capable of feeling and being petty. That puts you ahead of these people, all of who, on this date in history, ceased to annoy or be annoyed, ever after: Emperor Go-Nara, Maximilian I, Braxton Bragg, Sylvia Pankhurst, Jimmy Doolittle, Étienne Bézout, Bernard Courtois, Auguste Michel-Lévy, S. R. Ranganathan, William of Wykeham, Pope Urban VII, Saint Vincent de Paul, Pope Innocent XII, Karl Christian Friedrich Krause, Walter Benjamin, Aimee Semple McPherson, Edgar Degas, Kenji Nagai, Engelbert Humperdinck, Cliff Burton, Mahendra Kapoor, Robert Montgomery, Lloyd Nolan, Donald O'Connor, Clara Bow, Dame Gracie Fields, Babe Didrikson Zaharias, Doak Walker, William Edward Boeing, Oona O'Neill,
and Jimmy McCulloch.

Don't call my name in the air, just make your way home on the stone path.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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