Cranky Large Medium reading, 17 September

Go away.

Why won't you go? Did you forget how? The gate is right there. Go on, go. Scram. Beat it. Scoot. Begone. So why are you still here, now? Oh, right. You actually came here hoping to get something from me. Knowing full well that I am impoverished, that all I have is myself, my blanket and my personal charm, you still came to take something away from me. Well, I have to break it to you, you can't have my blanket. The world is not ready for me to gallivant about this place buck naked. I'm not for sale, either. And, let's face it, my charm is a little bit on the disused and neglected side, so... oh, I see, you want a reading. Well, that's different! And if I give you a reading, you will be leaving? Allow me to hasten this! Here you are:

You have to examine all sides of anything before you take action, allowing no room for intuition or plain raw talent. In other words, you're a stodgy plodder. Your bosses call you "reliable", and your colleagues call you a stiff. As long as you have other people to keep you moving, you will succeed in your endeavors. You like travel and reading -- mostly the latter because you can't quit planning long enough to go out the door to wherever you want to go.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. But, since you're always looking at all the angles, you should be able to recognize that you have it pretty good, regardless of what you just heard from me. After all, you're still gnawing at this bone, which proves you're able to do so. That puts you ahead of these people, all of whom, on this date in history, stopped gnawing and turned to bones: Pedro Menéndez de Avilés, Spiro Agnew, Hildegard von Bingen, Antoine Laurent de Jussieu, Heinrich Bullinger, Robert Bellarmine, Sabbatai Zevi, Karl Popper, Tobias Smollett, Bruno Jasieński, Eugène Viollet-le-Duc, Francesco Geminiani, Franz Xaver Süssmayr, Ignaz Brüll, Jimmy Yancey, Frankie Vaughan, Christian Nyby, Richard Basehart, Harry Locke, Red Skelton, Frank Burke, Glückel of Hameln, Alexander Berry, Charles Alfred Pillsbury, Thomas Selfridge, Ruth Benedict, Laura Ashley, Ted Binion,

and Fritz Wunderlich.

I can't say anything churlish after Freddie Wonderful sings. It just doesn't work.
Happy birthday.