Cranky Large Medium reading, 25 August

Go away.

Why are you still hanging around here? Isn't there somewhere else you can go, someone else you can annoy -- like , maybe a bull elephant? What is it that keeps you from turning around and leaving? Oh, I see, you came here for something, and you'd prefer not to leave until you have it. And I'm guessing what you came for is something only I can give you, as I'm so very special. Oh, dear, you should wipe that earnest look off your face, I'm not buying it. Okay, I'll accept you at face value if you let me know what it is you want and promise that, once you have it, you'll leave. Deal? Deal. Heh. You want a reading. This is going to be fun. After all, I'm not going to sugar-coat things the way your kindergarten teacher still does. Get ready to leave, here you are:

You have the characteristics of a leader, and the ambition of a legume; you watch what you say and work on diplomacy, not exploding unless you feel like doing so. You're warm and sincere in your affections, such as they are, and are a complete barstidge to people who tick you off. If you want to marry, you should find a mate who lacks the brains to recognize an argument when it approaches, because you constantly feel the need to be worshipped.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. What do I care, though. At least I know you're a whole lot better off, even being you, than these people are, since, on this date in history, they all ceased to be themselves... heck, they ceased to be: Gratian, Gennadius I, Louis IX, Sir James Douglas, Margaret of Anjou, Kuroda Kiyotaka, Stanley Bruce, William Herschel, Michael Faraday, Henri Becquerel, Thomas Cantilupe, David Hume, Friedrich Nietzsche, Thomas Dekker, Richard Crashaw, Truman Capote, Dorothy Hewett, Henri Fantin-Latour, Tachū Naitō, Carl Barks, Gower Champion, Carlos Seixas, Niccolò Jommelli, Ted Lewis, Aaliyah Dana Haughton, Paul Muni, Frankie Campbell, Babe Siebert, Earl Caddock, Moonlight Graham, Waite Hoyt, Carl Brewer, Kevin Duckworth, Henry Morgan, John Birch, Alfred Kinsey, George Lincoln Rockwell,

and Stan Kenton.

Intermission, heck! It's the end of the show! Scram!
Happy birthday, anyway.