Thursday, August 13, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 13 August

Go away.

Why aren't you moving on down the road? Don't you have something else to do, somewhere else to be? Please, go. Please. Please please. And yet you stay. Why is that? What will it take to persuade you to go? Oh, right, you want something specific from me. And that, as if I couldn't guess, is? Yes, yes, a reading. If I give you one, will get your feet scratching gravel? Whoop-de-doo! Here you are:
You are a regular goody-two-shoes, with high ideals, determination, and energy, striving always for excellence. Keep striving, maybe someday you'll come close to it. Meanwhile, you're a sappy sentimentalist who places family above all else, even rational thought. How could anybody dislike you? You're disgustingly warm and sincere.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. But you are sincere, and that means you may actually be able to list the positive aspects of all this -- first among them being you are still alive, which beats what these people have. They all, on this date in history, became absolutely listless: John Cruger, Florence Nightingale, Ikeda Hayato, René Laënnec, Ignaz Semmelweis, Eduard Buchner, Arthur Plunkett, Henri Cartan, Jeremy Taylor, H. G. Wells, Gerard David, Eugène Delacroix, Jack Ryan, Francesco Durante, Jules Massenet, Joseph Arrington Jr. aka Joe Tex, Tony Jay, Elaine Hammerstein, Tigran Petrosian, Tim Richmond, Mickey Mantle, Phil Rizzuto, Radegund, Larkin Smith, Ed Townsend,
and Julia Child.

You can't make an omelette without breaking wind, can you?
Happy birthday, anyway.

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