Cranky Large Medium reading, 18 May

Go away.

Why won't you get the heck away from me? Do you really like my breath so greatly? Pardon me, then, while I go fetch a dinner of garlic and fish. It's not the breath I draw that draws you here? Speak up, then, what is it? Oh, you want a REEEEEading. I think I can dredge one of those out, if you promise to leave right after. Spiff-o-rama, you do. Here you go, then:

You are too fond of taking a chance, and should curb that tendency, as it will bring you unhappiness and restlessness. You waste precious energy pursuing that desire. You are like a child, which is probably why kids like you more than adults do. If you sat still for a while, you might discover you like art and music, and, if you stayed home occasionally, you might find you need that, too. Too bad you can't listen to rational advice.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. You're not so hotsy-totsy at that part of life. Hey, though, look on the bright side. You're still able to take your chances, as opposed to these people, all of whom, on this date in history, took the train to No Chance: Władysław Opolczyk, Sejong the Great of Joseon, Ikeda Motosuke, Túpac Amaru II, Jeannette Rankin, Stanisław Lubieniecki, Elias Ashmole, Elijah Craig, Charles Louis Alphonse Laveran, Aleksandr Gennadievich Kurosh, Pierre-Gilles de Gennes, John, Cardinal of Lorraine, Jean Gaspard Felix Ravaisson-Mollien, George Meredith, Arthur O'Connell, William Saroyan, Domenico di Pace Beccafumi, Georg Böhm, Isaac Albéniz, Pauline Viardot, Gustav Mahler, Leroy Anderson, Andy Clyde, Daws Butler, Marshall Thompson, Elisha Cook, Jr., Alexander Godunov, Isabella Glyn, Jill Ireland, Elizabeth Montgomery, Bridgette Andersen, Ernie Davis, Jacques Marquette, Andrew Kehoe, Harry Truman, David A. Johnston, Reid Blackburn,

and Ian Curtis.

If love doesn't do it, something else will.
Happy birthday, anyway.