Cranky Large Medium reading, 20 April

Go away.

Why are you still here? What is it that holds you to the ground at my mountainside? Other than plain gravity, that is. What could possibly cause you to come here, to disturb my already disturbed nature? Oh, right. You want a reading. I am shocked -- shocked, I say. Ah, me. If I am to get rid of you, I suppose I will have to cede to your demands. So, here you are:

You are as bullheaded as they come. If there were a prize for stubbornness, you'd have a full display case. You expect others to step aside, or be trampled on. You are easily influenced by praise and flattery, rather than by direct appeal or command. Surround yourself with brown-nosers, and you will be happy. Not that anybody else close to you will be.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Can't back down for a second. Hey, at least you can admit that what you have, here, in your life, beats the alternative. After all, you could be joining these people, all of whom, on this date in history, surrendered to the pressure of eternity: Zhengde, Pontiac, Karl Ferdinand Braun, Giuseppe Peano, Bernard Katz, Pope Clement V, Elizabeth Barton, Johannes Bugenhagen, Michael Fu Tieshan, Bram Stoker, Archibald MacLeish, Fumio Niwa, Joseph Wolf, Aldo Sigismondi aka Alan Dale, Andrew Hill, Don Siegel, Ruth Hale, Eddie Dyer, Richard Rood aka "Ravishing" Rick Rude, Christopher Robin Milne, Wenceslao Moreno aka Señor Wences

and Steve Marriott.

Say, is that your natural born hair? I thought not.
Happy birthday, anyway.