Cranky Large Medium reading, 3 February

Go away.

Are you still here? What possesses you to stick around? Do you think you missed the last jackass downhill? Don't worry, there's always another one of those around. So scoot, now. Oh, you're here for something. You want your reading, do you? Well, then, here you are:

You should have been married early in life, preferably to somebody born in a month without a vowel in it. You are kind, generous, good-natured, have excellent self-control and keep your own counsel -- in your own mind! You are fond of pets and small animals, but they know you better and avoid you. Until you start bathing more frequently, it's a good thing for everybody that you enjoy the out-of-doors.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. If you were, you wouldn't have come to me in the first place. But look on the bright side: your visit with me won't last very long, and you'll have the rest of your life to live (the first half of that certainly makes me smile). That beats to heck what's left for these people, all of whom, on this date in history, cashed in their chips: John of Gaunt, Ashikaga Yoshimochi, Lunalilo, Woodrow Wilson, Johannes Gutenberg, Tommaso Ceva, George Crabbe, Jean-Baptiste Biot, Agner Krarup Erlang, Frank Oppenheimer, Laurence of Canterbury, Saint Werburgh, George Cassander, John Butler Yeats, Lionel Newman, John Cassavetes, Belle Starr, Hugo Junkers, Harry Ackerman,

J.P. "The Big Bopper" Richardson.

Richard Steven Valenzuela aka Ritchie Valens,

and Charles Hardin Holley aka Buddy Holly.

Peggy Who? Nobody here by that name. Peggy Sue got married.
Happy birthday, anyway.