Cranky Large Medium reading, 14 February

Go away.

Will you get out of here? Get out! Well, why are you still dawdling at my doorstep? So, you want something from me. Sorry , kid, I gave up Girl Scout cookies when they started promising "healthier" options. I like my cookies dead. If they're healthy, they're not cookies. Oh. It's not the cookies you're doing, it's the search for yourself thing. You want a reading. Jeepers, why didn't you say something from the get-go, instead of wasting my time on Girl Scout cookies. Here's your reading:

You are independent to the point of extreme selfishness. You'll take credit when things go right around you, even when credit is due others as well, and when things go wrong, you're the first to point the finger of blame at everybody else, instead of manning up and taking responsibility for what you screwed up. Men might like you for your masterful nature, but if you're interested in having a woman care about you, it's a lost cause. They see you for what you are.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Happiness only comes over Samoas. But you don't have to get all crumbly. After all, you're still alive and cooking, unlike these people, all of whom, on this date in history, pushed away from life's banquet: King Richard II, Timur, William Blackstone, William Tecumseh Sherman, Rafik Hariri, John Hadley, Henry Maudslay, Eugène Charles Catalan, David Hilbert, Karl Guthe Jansky, Julian Huxley, James Bond, St. Valentine (hello, young lovers), Saint Cyril, P. G. Wodehouse, Abraham Bosse, Warren "Baby" Dodds, Edmund Rubbra, Buddy Knox, Michael V. Gazzo, Dora Gerson, Tom Burke, Mordecai Brown, Captain James Cook, Yusuf Salman Yusuf, Vito Genovese, John Ehrlichman,

and Frederick Loewe.

Mmmm. I can handle that.
Happy birthday, anyway.