Monday, January 05, 2009

Cranky Large Medium reading, 5 January

Go away.

Are you gone yet? Why the heck not? Don't you know how your voice pains my delicate ears? Please, if I give you something, will you silently tiptoe away from here? Will a reading work as sufficient bribe? Wonderful. Here you are:
You are a goody-two-shoes who can not tell a lie, you are mushy about kids, and generally a soft touch all around. You blend into the wallpaper, and need to curb your tendency to react bitterly when ignored. Your home and all in it are the center of your narrow universe. You should get out more.
Are you happy, now? Of course not. Happy is not in your nature, either. You should at least consider how much better you have things than these people, all of whom, on this date, individually spread out across the universe via dust in the wind: Edward the Confessor, King Peter IV of Aragon, Qi Jiguang, Catherine de' Medici, Empress Elizabeth of Russia, Calvin Coolidge, Max Born, Douglas Shearer, Harold C. Urey, Momofuku Ando, Saint John Nepomucene Neumann, Charles Tompson, Jean Kerr, Alfred Thomas Agate, Robert L. Surtees, André Franquin, Antonio Lotti, Henri Herz, Emma Abbott, Burton Lane, Ken Forssi, Danny Sugerman, Hans Conried, Harvey Lembeck, Arthur Kennedy, Nancy Parsons, Rabbit Maranville, Rogers Hornsby, Pete Maravich, Tug McGraw, Ernest Shackleton, Amelia Earhart (declared), Amy Johnson, George Washington Carver, Tip O'Neill, Sonny Bono,
and Charles Mingus.

That was no lady, that was my life.
Happy birthday, anyway.

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