Cranky Large Medium reading, 19 January

Go away.

Are you ever going to leave? What will it take for me to see the back of you? Money? Sex (ecch)? Oh, thank all that is great in this universe, all you want is a reading. That I can arrange. In fact, here you are:

Diplomats, writers, teachers and lovers of fine arts are born on this day. Too bad you're not one of them. You have an earnest desire to help others, but lack the requisite common sense. Poetical, artistic, affectionate ; you have the potential to enter any field, as long as there is an obedience trainer accompanying you, or at least somebody holding your leash.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. But you could be, if only you remembered how much better off you are than these people, who, on this date in history, crossed into the Elysian Fields: Dagobert I, Isabella of Burgundy, Empress Carlotta, William O. Douglas, Carl Reichenbach, Henri Victor Regnault, Theodor Kaluza, Hidetsugu Yagi, Henry Howard, William Congreve, James Dickey, Giovanni Niccolo Servandoni, Tony Garnier, Thomas Hart Benton, Louis-Joseph-Ferdinand Hérold, Harry Shields, Michael Rabin, Gene MacLellan, Wilson Pickett, Denny Doherty, John Stewart, Don Simpson, John Russell, Anthony Franciosa, Adriana Caselotti, Hedy Lamarr, Suzanne Pleshette, Cliff Heathcote, Max Bentley, Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow, Charles Bent, József Dudás, Ham the Chimp, Harry E. Claiborne,

and Carl Perkins.

Lay off them shoes.
Happy birthday, anyway.