Cranky Large Medium reading, 20 December

Go away.

Why are you still here? Don't you have some pressing business with an ironing board, or something? Ah, you stay because you want something from me. Of course. Nobody comes here just for me. Fine. Here you are:

You are honest, trustworthy, constant and patient. You are methodical and accurate in your work; punctual in your appointments, and fastidious in your dress. You are domestic, but enjoy many outside interests. You are very affectionate but not demonstrative. In other words, you are exceedingly dull, dull, dull, drab and dreary... by God, you are boring!

Are you happy, now? Of course not. It's not in your nature. But at least you're better off than these people, all of whom, on this date in history, let nature take her course with them, the hard way: Pope Zephyrinus, King Ethelbald of Wessex, Emperor Kangxi, Richard J. Daley, Léopold Sédar Senghor, Thomas Linacre, Augustus Quirinus Rivinus, Robert Knox, Carl Sagan, Annie Armstrong, Upendrakishore Ray, James Hilton, Moss Hart, John Steinbeck, Antonio Soler, Arthur Rubinstein, Kurt Böhme, Hank Snow, Foster Brooks, Dawn Steel, Irene Hervey, Gonzalo Márquez, Joe DeSa, Sacagawea, Hans Hartwig von Beseler, Dean Rusk,

and Bobby Darin.

And aren't you glad I didn't overplay "Beyond the Sea"?
Happy birthday, anyway.