Cranky Large Medium reading, 10 December

Go away.

When will you go? Any moment now would be really good. Like now. Or now. Or even now. When I open my eyes again, you will be far, far away. Dang! You're still here! All right, if I give you a reading, will you be happy and leave me alone? Great! Here you are, then:

You are annoyingly sincere, naive and have a bossy nature. You are overly excitable, impetuous, and fidgety. Your home is very important to you, so maybe you should stay there and shower your affection on hundreds of cats.

Are you happy, now? Of course not. Nobody is ever happy with his lot. But at least you're better off than all these people, who as of this date in history, have only a six-foot-by-three-foot plot: Michael IV the Paphlagonian, Sir Mackenzie Bowell, William Gilbert, Edmund Gunter, Thomas Seebeck, Alfred Nobel, Wolf Vishniac, Averroes, Thomas Merton, Damon Runyon, Charles Rennie Mackintosh, Giulio Caccini, Tarquinio Merula, Otis Redding, Kathryn Louise Allen aka Kate Wolf, Jascha Heifetz, Faron Young, Rick Danko, Edward D. Wood, Jr., Freeman Fisher "Gozzie" Gosden, Ann Dvorak, Susan Cabot, Shirley Hemphill, Marie Windsor, Walter Johnson, Adolph Rupp, Horace Elgin Dodge, Colin Kelly, John Henry Cound Brunt, Adolfo Camarillo, Armand Hammer, Eugene McCarthy, Richard Pryor, Augusto Pinochet, Aqsa Parvez,

and Headman Tshabalala.

Don't give me no jive. I already got plenty.
Happy birthday, anyway.