Cranky Large Medium reading, 18 November

Go away.

Is there some good reason you're still here? There can't really be, can there? Well, how about a mediocre reason for being here? Oh, yes, the reading. I can give you that, and then you'll be happy and scram? Wonderful! Here you go, then:

Your habits are compulsively focused and obsessively overdone, you are intolerant of inaccuracies and are judgmental. You hum a lot and fancy yourself an artist, occasionally convincing others of your purported talents. You are a cut-up and clown and will have to marry either somebody with a gift for laughter or somebody else who works with you at the side show.

So, there. Are you happy, now? No? So sorry (snicker). At least you have it better than all these people, who, on this date in history, sank to the maximum level of inaction: John II, Chester A. Arthur, Chris Watson, Henry A. Wallace, Walther Nernst, Niels Bohr, Saint Rose Philippine Duchesne, Marcel Proust, Paul Bowles, Man Ray, Peter Ledger, Ted Heath, Danny Whitten, Doug Sahm, Michael Kamen, Cy Coleman, James Coburn, Harold J. Stone, Conn Smythe, William Jessop, Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr., Jim Jones, Gia Carangi,

and Cab Calloway.

No more jumpin' jive for you.
Happy birthday, anyway.