Cranky Large Medium reading, 5 October

Go away.

Are you still here? How in all that is holy do I warrant this pestering? Badger, badger, badger...

All right! I surrender! Here's what you were asking for -- your fortune:

You are impulsive, mercurial, short-tempered, as well as having a tendency to bully. You belong in the wilderness, or maybe tossed into a river or larger body of water. You'll be lucky to have any friends, and will have to work around the house for any pleasantness.

There. Are you satisfied? No? Well, just consider yourself lucky by comparison to all these people who had the ill fortune to buy the farm on this date in history: Justin II, Henry III, King Philip III of France, Tecumseh, Louis Dembitz Brandeis, ... Lodovico Ferrari, Ján Andrej Segner, Lars Onsager, Earl Tupper, James H. Wilkinson, Maurice Wilkins, William H. Dobelle, ... Philippe Desportes, J. Slauerhoff, ... Hans von Bartels, ... Pierre de Manchicourt, Jacques Offenbach, Leon Roppolo, ... Hal B. Wallis, Denis Quilley, Rodney Dangerfield, ... Barbara Nichols, Gloria Grahame, Jennifer Moss, ... Brian Pillman, Chuck Rayner, Dan Snyder, Antonio Peña, ... Grigori Potemkin, Charles Cornwallis, Lincoln Loy McCandless, Seymour Cray, Timothy Treadwell,

and Eddie Kendricks.

It's really hard to say anything if your mouth is full of cake.
Happy birthday, anyway.