Friday, November 30, 2007

Keep yer filthy green paws off my beer fridge!

I don't have much in this life. In fact, by American standards, I qualify as dirt poor -- I don't own a car, I don't have cable or satellite tv, I don't have a phone of my own, I don't even own a working computer, any more (thx, Mom, for the use of yours!). My house is crumbling around my ears (thx, kittehs!) and I'm ungainfully unemployed (thx, IL gummint, thx to my crazy ancestors who handed down the crazy gene, and thx also to uneven sidewalks in Chicago!).

But still, I have one thing to which I can still cling: I have a lovely 1950s or early '60s Coldspot refrigerator with pink-and-coppertone interior, out there in my non-car-holding garage. In the summer, I clean that puppy up, plug it in, and fill it with my favorite beverages, so they'll be handy for all of us folks who play in the dirt in my back yard.

But now, some eco-wackos are saying that it's a bad thing, and they want to take that luxury away from me and others like me. They think that beer fridges are causing the icecap in the arctic circle to shrink, and Canada to thaw. Well, I say, Canada needs a longer growing season! Pass me those six-packs -- I'm gonna head right back out to scrub my machine out, and I'm gonna plug it in just a little early, this time. Anyone up for a really cold one?

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